Today I came out of a weekend intensive class called Treating the Addictions and, man, was that heavy. A weekend intensive course starts on Friday (5pm – 9pm) and continues on Saturday and Sunday (9am to 5:50 pm). Not only did I watched about half of the movie Requiem for a Dream for the first time in years, but I also heard the testimony of a recovering addict. Needless to say, with the topics and the ammount of time spent there, being the introvert I am, I came out drained and way overstimulated. I came home a wreck, questioning why in the hell am I going for counseling.
Recognizing that I become a full blown pessimist when I’m exhausted does not change the reality that I have to face. After such a heavy day, I go back to an appartment on my own and rumminate about purpose and meaning in life. What am I doing here?! Is there any reason to go on? Mind you, this questions are the result of years of introversion -the tendency to be inwardly oriented- working for 3 years in a psychiatric hospital, and not having someone to come home to.
As a mental health counselor in an inpatient, intensive treatment unit, I form part of a treatment team that cares for dozens of dual-diagnosis patients. The work is unpredictable, the schedule is never the same each week, many times it is a high stress environment, and outburts of anger or innapropriate behavior can happen any minute. It’s exhausting! The shifts I work (7-3 and 3-11) have messed with my sleep pattern for all that time -making me less optimistic, irritable, and taking time and energy away from school. I’ve been meaning to quit for the past couple of months. Both work and school are sucking the life out of me.
The best way to describe my situation is like having my life revolve around three vicious dementors… some of you may imagine how horrible that could be. [Yeah, the third one comes out from inside of me when the other two get together in days like this.]
And then I open YouTube and it saves the damn day -yet again! This awesome TedTalk was sitting right there waiting to restore my sense of hope and faith in humanity. Maybe there is another path -albeit riskier, perhaps? One of meaning and purpose, where I don’t have to hate life as a side effect.
Smiley talks about his quarter-life crisis around 28 -the age I am right now!- and even though he was pretty successful according to society’s standards, he was really miserable. In this talk, Smiley share’s how he turned his life around, and makes suggestions on how to go about making your ideas and projects a reality in order to live with purpose.
Smiley talks about:
- Meet believers to find accountability – people that believe in chasing dreams, living with purpose, making a difference,
- Stop comparing yourself to others and start pursuing what is meaningful to you.
- Make the ask:
“Take the risk, sign up for the class, volunteer, go abroad, work abroad, launch a crowdfunding campaign. Start the blog, make that website, make the ask. People will support you when you start working with purpose.”
– Adam “Smiley” Poswolsky
So this really gave me hope. We only have one life. Many of us want to make it a better one for everybody -that’s you, Millenials. And we have the talent, knowledge, desire, and creativity for it. Nobody deserves to be miserable at work because of fear of change, lack of support. Everybody that has an opportunity owe’s it to himself or herself to pursue it. I think that’s the only way to live with meaning and joy. It’s the best deal for everyone.
I’ve been meaning to commit to my writing because I enjoy blogging and part of me wants to be a writter. I’ve been meaning to find a better job. And today I’m making a commitment to myself to go for what I want and make the ask. So…
Anybody in need of an indealistic, passionate writer with a psychology and counseling background?
The Aging Mist 